December 2009
10 posts
SAGITTARIUS - THE ONE (11/22-12/21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where…!!! Not the kind of...
Ryan: They should make a Full House video game.
Me: Yeah...but what would you do?
Ryan: I don't know, babysit.
Me: Hey you eat meat, right?
Eliza: Are you kidding? Look at me...I eat everything.
God I love this country
Client: Hey do you guys take appointments?
Josh: Just for color
Client: Colored people?
Josh: Uh...no.
“I’m excited about that babe…AND her mom.”
– Harbor
Me: Yeah, don't worry, Grandma. I still don't have any tattoos.
Gma: Well, if you get one, just don't get any black ones on your arms.
Me: Hah...ok. Why?
Gma: They're just so ugly!!
Me: Ok, I promise. No black tattoos on my arms.
Gma: Good. They're forever, you know? I saw this show about someone taking them off with cheese graters.
Me: WHAT?!! What kind of show were you watching???
Gma: Well, it was Law & Order...and it was a pimp...and his, uh... (whispers) hoes.
Me: Haha How does that work?
Gma: Apparently, (whispers, again) hoes get tattoos that brand them to their pimps. And if they leave, they get the cheese grater.
Me: Wow that sounds awful.
Gma: Yeah, so think about that next time you want a tattoo.
Me: Well, I really don't plan on being a "ho" anytime soon, but thanks for the warning, Grandma
My boss (on the front desk computer): Ummm....who googled "How to tape boobs up?"
Me: ...
My boss: Oh my god.
Me: Listen! I had a dress that I couldn't wear a...
My boss (interupting me): Whoaaaa. No...don't finish that sentence.
Me: ...blerg.
